A bit of humour to ease the pain...



Taken from the Glasgow herald 30/09/04

Picture, if you will, this fantastic scene in Milan the other night.
The Celtic fans, having much taken to the great gothic pile of a
cathedral known as Il Duomo, are gathered beneath the
transepts and figurines of the vast 12th century homage to Christ.

The troops are playing football, bevvying themselves up, and leering
longingly at Milanese women who walk past, many of them upon
legs like stilts. By the side of Il Duomo one of those Euro-trash pop
acts is happily belting out hit after hit. Why, this is all marvellous, the
Celtic troops are saying, playing football at the cathedral doors,
guzzling jars of beer and, to the band's utter amazement, warmly
applauding each song.

Alas, this unique celebration of Christianity, football and lager is
suddenly brought to a shuddering halt. The band duly break into
Tina Turner's Simply The Best and are stunned to find their erstwhile
appreciative audience suddenly showering them with abuse.

"Get tae f***!" shouts one Celtic supporter, not quite in the idiom of
St Augustine, who once walked this piazza. Simply The Best, of course,
has been commandeered by Rangers as their unofficial anthem at Ibrox.
The poor popsters were maybe 15 seconds into their rendition before
realising that, for whatever unfathomable reason, it was a song which
wasn't going down well.

You just can't get the researchers for street-acts these days...

Good Luck to the Bhoys later tonight...



ignore the hype - get stuck in...

I've been losing my head - I've been losing my way...



I've been trying to listen to CD's I haven't heard in a while. I have so many and seem to listen to the same ones over & over. I was listening to The Psychomodo by Cockney Rebel. The album is 30 years old and is still more innovative than most of the shit that's about today. I was actually lucky enough to see Cockney Rebel when I was a kid at The Leith Town Hall. I don't remember too much other than the acoustics were terrible & there was a bout of squealing feedback like you would expect from an MC at a miner's social club.

It's funny, I must have been at 100's of gigs and I don't really remember much about any of them unless someone fell off the stage or there was fight or something absolutely non related to the music. I mean when you watch a movie you retain the plot and a percentage of the imagery, but I can't remember much at all. I used to have a pair of Steve Harley sunglasses when I was at school. Really cool yellow ones. I used to wear them all the time & they ended up being confiscated by an English teacher because I was wearing them in his class. What a guy eh? a rebel without a clue.

I bought Cockney Rebel's first album The Human Menagerie when I was 13. I had read an article about them in NME or Sounds. Actually it might have been the Record Mirror as I seem to remember colour photo's accompanying the article. It was raving about how they were the next big thing and Harley had that Clockwork Orange look with the mascara and a bowler hat. It seemed to me a natural progression from T-Rex, Bowie and Roxy Music. I played the album constantly.

It reminds me of the time I was expelled from High School and no other school would take me on. For 3 months I was at home with no school and I used to listen to records all day. What a punishment. Anyway, Human Menagerie ended up getting scratched and it used to stick on a track called Mirror Freak. It would stick and repeat a small segment of the song a couple of times and then continue playing as normal. The funny thing is when I listen to that track now on cd, I anticipate the part that sticks and it sounds strange when it plays right through.

Back to The Psychomodo. My favourite song on the album is Ritz which is a haunting melodic acoustic number with typical Harley lyrics full of abstract mystery and smacking of the 18th & 19th Centuries; Voltaire, Dickens, aristocracy, poverty and poetry. I read somewhere that Harley is touring the UK doing acoustic sets with Rebel guitarist Jim Cregan. It's ironic that punk seemed to finish Harley's success in the 70's, yet most of the punks I knew loved cockney Rebel. I remember The Scars used to cover Psychomodo - a good version too.

RITZ

Hark to Roualt's white insanity
Clowns in drag concealing vanity
This is hardly Paradise
We're still in search of petty scorn
Images so dead in mourning
Clap and cheer the man performing
This is hardly Paradise
We're still in search of petty scorn
Couch my disease in chintz-covered kisses
Glazed calico cloth, my costume this is
Come to Pablo Fanque's in indigo
We'll show you pastel shades of rhyme
It's ok to laugh in harmony
See the white-faced Auguste's army
Come to Pablo Fanque's in indigo
We'll show you pastel shades of rhyme
Take a letter, Ophelia, write
"Sorry Desdemona" bright
Peeking through the nimbus covers
We see the twisted tale of Man
Catch us in the cornfield hiding
Me, Maryse and Moonbeams gliding
Peeking through the nimbus covers
We see the twisted tale of Man
Careless, caress, curl up beside me
Visit, sleep and smile, and drown me
March together, slay like Nero
Now we have something you understand

Oh! the clown, his stare is eyeless
Shall he make you laugh or cry, yes
March together, slay like Nero
We'll show you something you understand
It is time to hide my body
Shall we start to speak of Holly
I don't wanna be that superhero
'Til you have something we understand
Heard they're moving Pisces into June
Shall we put together a platoon
I don't wanna be that superhero
'Til you have something we understand.

Been losing my braincells at a million a day...

Lou Reed at his best - with the Velvet's...



I'll be your mirror

I'll be your mirror - reflect what you are
In case you don't know
I'll be the wind, the rain and the sunset
The light on your door to show that your home

When you think the night has seen your mind
that inside your twisted and unkind
Let me stand to show that you are blind
Please put down your hands - 'Cause I see you

I find it hard to believe you don't know
The beauty you are
But if you don't, let me be your eyes
A hand to your darkness so you won't be afraid

I'm surprised he let Nico sing this one...

I like Stephen Conroy's Etchings...


Head Study

Stephen Conroy

they have a real Sickert like darkness...

I was a child and she was a child, In this kingdom by the sea...



The Complete Works of Edgar Allan Poe

But we loved with a love that was more than love - I and my Annabel Lee...

Punk was...



Apocalyptic glamour
it was anything you wanted it to be
nuclear 50's with PVC & chrome
leather if you could get it
but Bin bags would do
young Presley sired by Marx
born in North London
cloned by Doctor Frankenstein
and released in packs nationwide
night of the living dead
where the living terrorize the zombies
fuck this and fuck that
No. 6 fags and warm lager
underdressed in winter
overdressed in summer
nicking collars from dogs
purloined op shop trousers
hidden under op shop jackets
sweaty smoke filled venues
shagging in the toilets
sneaking in the back door
getting on the guest list
starting a band & then learning to play
knowing everyone at a gig
the realm of the under 20's
reggae reggae reggae reggae
decadence V's Nilhism
dead by 1978

like all things of pure passion, originality and beauty - ephemeral...

In the city, in the disco - think you're pretty, and the beat goes...



Project Elasticated

it's a shit-hole - you're a hero, you're a freak-oh...

Assorted scraps of Celtic related craic...



First-team wannabes do the trick for Celtic

NAE WONDER FITBA FANS ARE AYE SKINT

Celtic clinch record £25m kit deal with Nike

Petrov Urges Celtic Shape-up

Sad side of Clough's Parkhead legacy

all good reading...

Whaur's the Burds?...



Face to face: Frank McAvennie

a recent interview with ex Celt Frank McAvennie by John Gibson of the
Newcastle Evening Chronicle, worth a read for some of Frankie Boy's
Patter. His thoughts on Prison life particularly enlightening:

"It was horrible inside. I hated it. There were some right villains in
there and I was determined never to go back. That month inside brought
me to my senses. It was the kick up the backside I needed."

Ye don't say Frankie Boy, ye don't say...

Football legend Brian Clough dead at 69...



Brian Clough Obituary

Love him or hate him - his record speaks for itself...

Aeon Flux - I've just got to keep telling myself...



Aeon Flux

She's only a cartoon, She's only a cartoon...

Jackie is a punk, Judy is a runt...




Johnny Ramone, 1948-2004

Oh, I don't know why, Perhaps they'll die...

Don't want to be an American idiot...



American Idiot by Green Day

Don't want to be an American idiot.
Don't want a nation that under the new media.
And can you hear the sound of hysteria?
The subliminal mindfuck America.

Welcome to a new kind of tension.
All across the alien nation.
Everything isn't meant to be okay.
Television dreams of tomorrow.
We're not the ones who're meant to follow.
Well that's enough to argue.

Well maybe I'm the faggot America.
I'm not a part of a redneck agenda.
Now everybody do the propaganda.
And sing along in the age of paranoia.

Welcome to a new kind of tension.
All across the alien nation.
Everything isn't meant to be okay.
Television dreams of tomorrow.
We're not the ones who're meant to follow.
Well that's enough to argue.

Don't want to be an American idiot.
One nation controlled by the media.
Information age of hysteria.
It's going out to idiot America.

Welcome to a new kind of tension.
All across the alien nation.
Everything isn't meant to be okay.
Television dreams of tomorrow.
We're not the ones who're meant to follow.
Well that's enough to argue.

One nation controlled by the media...

The Celtic v Barcelona game was on the TV this morning...



Celtic were absolutely terrible in the first half - Barcelona are by far the
better team, but it was more than that. Celtic looked nervous & nothing they
tried seemed to work. They sat off Barca & gave them the opportunity to play,
Big mistake. It was looking very much like a mis-match & I must admit, as much
as I love The Hoops - it was embarrassing. Deco scored in the 20th minute & by
half time Celtic were lucky not to be 3-4 goals down.

The second half was a different story. Juninho hadn't really been in the game and
Martin O'Neill changed him for Chris Sutton. The impact was immediate. The Bhoys
started to get a hold on the game only to concede a penalty when Jackie McNamara
fell on top of Guily; when Ronaldinho stepped up to take the kick the game looked
to be very much over as a contest - but David Marshall guessed the right side & made
a superb one handed save to keep Celtic in the game. Constant pressure paid off and
on 59 minutes Chris Sutton acrobatically stretched beyond a barca defender to slam
the ball into the onion bag. A 20 minute period of pressure seen Petrov come close &
Celtic were unnerving the Spanish side who looked like they might settle for a draw.

To break the continuity of the Celtic pressure, Frank Rijkaard played his trump card &
introduced Henrik Larsson. There were a few boo's but the resounding response to the
introduction of Larsson was for the Parkhead crowd to break into a deafening rendition
of The Celtic Song - For it's a grand old team to play for...

For me, it was one of the highlights of the match. Larsson, as might be expected, looked
less than comfortable but still managed to set up Guily for Barca's second goal - which
took a cruel deflection off jackie McNamara. McNamara's studs caught the turf & it
looked as though he had broken his ankle - turned out to be ligament damage, but he will
still be out for 4-6 weeks. A weak headed backpass from Alan Thompson was snatched
up by Larsson, who rounded Marshall & scored Barca's third. No celebration from HL
which was a nice show of respect to his ex clubmates & the Parkhead faithful. Although
it's sickening to see HL score against The Hoops, it's a situation that neither will relish &
what were the odds of meeting Barcelona in the CL? Anyway, put away the
'King of Kings' banners & get behind the current players.

From a pessimistic point of view - Celtic looked outclassed, under staffed & at times
bereft of any idea's. Lack of concentration led to 3 fairly soft goals. The sense of
occasion seemed to get the better of them & they looked like the away team
rather than the home side.

On a positive note - they conceded only the one goal in the first half & rode 45 minutes
of constant Barcelona pressure. Big improvement in the second half, Marshall saving the
penalty, Sutton's equaliser & for 20 minutes or so they looked like they might even nick
a win - with a draw looking likely.

Tuesday nights game is now history. Lessons must surely be learned & addressed by the
time The Hoops visit The San Siro. In the meantime, lets get the goals flowing when we
visit the Leith San Siro on Sunday.

Man of the match - The Parkhead Faithful for the singing lesson...

As camp as a row of tents...



My Old Man - god rest him - was forever taking the pish out of my
musical tastes & constantly rubbished all the punk bands I liked &
'That Poof' David Bowie. His idea of 'Good modern music' was Queen.
Not exactly a favourite of mine, but everybody kind of likes queen -
yeah? My father used to watch them & bandied about phrases like 'now
that's playing the fuckin guitar' & 'the boy can sing', etc. All this
however came to an abrupt end after watching the 'I want to break free'
video on top of the pops. Absolutely disgusted, he never mentioned Queen
again - his only comment being 'that's what happens when they get famous,
the drugs get a hold of them' Poor old Freddie.

How come it's funny when Les Dawson used to drag up?...

I wonder what happened to Lisa Stansfield...



Lisa Stansfield

Found her website - now I know...

What do Blackpool Landladies and Glasgow Rangers have in common? ...



both their seasons finish in September...

This guy is unbelievable...



Woosoccer.com

great skills - but can he tackle? ...

AMELIE was on the TV the other night...



Le Fabuleux destin d'Amelie Poulain

I must have missed this over the last couple of years - I go to the
cinema less & less as I get older - but what a wonderful film. You've
got to hand it to the French when it comes to beautiful, uplifting films.
Great story & well acted by all involved - Audrey Tautou is adorable.

The photo booth connection reminded me that when I was in my teens, the
done thing to do with your photo booth photo's was to try and slide them
behind the glass of the bus time table at the bus stop. There was a gallery
of various youths making faces & giving the vickys to the bus queue. It was
advisable to do it as far away from your home as possible, cause if yer ma
seen you behind the glass... say no more.

just brilliant...

Some Saucy Sirens of Sci-Fi...



Rainfall Posters

I'm not a great fan of reproductions but these 40's & 50's Sci-Fi images are
pretty cool - taken from the covers of old comic books.

gave schoolboys of old more than just spaceships to fantasise about...

Currant Buns are fruity...



What Celtic fans know: supporting Rangers is bad for mental health

I couldn't help myself - please excuse TDR style headline...

Halcyon Days...



It never ceases to amaze me what you can find at auctions. I buy a lot at auctions - it's sort of what I do - among other things. The word that drives the auction going fraternity into a frenzy is... ESTATE. Rifling through the treasures of the recently deceased is a rarified treat for the hardened auction goer & such auctions always draw the biggest crowds. Having worked in the industry for 10 years, I have a bit of an understanding why this happens; The average estate contains the contents of a family home that has been put together over a lifetime. So a dealer can buy a piece of furniture that has been 'out of the marketplace' for 50, 60 or even 70 years. Now, considering that the family in question may have inherited some of the items in the first place, an antique dealer could pick up a rare piece of furniture or art that has been out of the marketplace for over 100 years. A kind of timewarp situation.

Of course, there are other reasons. Most of us are curious, a few are just naturally driven nosey bastards. A chance to take a strangers life & for a few hours look at it under a microscope, warts & all, is just too appealling to pass up. Indeed, a lot of people ONLY attend estate sales - and usually buy very little, if anything, but spend hours meticulously sorting through the auction lots. Usually seniors & they tend to travel in packs - 'Deceased Estate on tuesday, you bring the sannie's & I'll bring a flask.' Now don't get me wrong, I'm in their with the rest of the bunch trying to find a treasure, but I will attend many auctions every week & am indiscriminate as to where the goods came from & the health status of the vendor.

It used to be that any personal belongings - letters, photo's, etc - were put to one side... and disposed of if no existing family member claimed them. Nowadays these items are put up for sale. Boxes of ephemera & suitcases full of old photo's are usually incorporated in with other lots as they are deemed to have no commercial value - NCV. I have always been fascinated with ephemera & buy related items when they come up at auction. I have found some unusual & entertaining things in among these box lots; A hand written note from a 19th Century Clergyman that was wrapped around a treasured fragment of the original stained glass windows of York Cathedral, C. 1300. A missionary in Africa & Asia, he carried this in his pocket as he went about his business.

Also, a collection of South African Laywers papers from the turn of the century. It included the correspondence between the firm & a family who's estate affairs they handled. The main letter writers were the father & the eldest son. The father was requesting his own allowance from the estate as his circumstances had forced him to live with his son & the son's family. According to his letters, he was being grossly mistreated & forced to sleep with the horses. The son's letters tell of his father's fondness for the bottle, how he had taken to walking around naked & how he refused to wash himself with anything but wine. He goes on to say he & his wife are at the end of their tether & can't put up with this behaviour much longer - unless they are granted an extra three guinea's a month... Charming.

The items that usually invoke some form of sadness or melancholy are photos. Take the photo above; once the initial amusement at the subject matter subsides, one can't help but wonder how such an extraordinary image ends up discarded with other paperwork & photos. Perhaps the end of the family dynasty? Surely any surviving relation would have loved such a photo? Now that the photographer, the child - I am assuming the photo would still be in their possession if they were still alive - & even the dog are no longer with us, the pedal car & tricycle have been consigned to the scrap heap - or restored beyond recognition & perhaps even the house itself has been bulldozed in the name of progress, the story behind this fragment from life will have to be imagined by the viewer. The cast & creator must remain anonymous but the imagery will surely still entertain as it did all those years ago.

maybe they're off to join the circus...

Great Printmakers site in Edinburgh...


Hugh Buchanan - St Stephens Church

Edinburgh Printmakers

Good selection for sale & courses available...

I think even Martin O'Neill is entitled to the odd mistake...



HOOPS FANS CAN BREATHE SIGH OF RELIEF AS O'NEILL'S SHOPPING TRIP FAILS

Remembering, of course, that MON only wanted them on a 1 year contract

But this guy's certainly got a point...

I used to walk around Leith in the rain...



Friday Night

Alone I walk through Friday night
Rain falls in sheets, it's purpose clear
To rid the streets of all that moves
Shrug off the night; pull morning near

Past tenements and breweries
The air alive with malt and grain
The remnants of a passing age
Romanticised 'neath pouring rain

Through cobbled lanes and empty wynds
Still miles to go, I persevere
Ahead a Kirk with towering spire
Where saintly bells toll passing years

By mounds of dead, long buried deep
The plague bell ringing in their ears
Now shadows in the winter night
Their story kindles childhood fears

The sound of surf comes through the squall
Abruptly, now the journey ends
A soft grey light tints eastern skies
As morning comes around again.

Late at night & into the early morning...

I found a couple of articles about Henri Camara...



They were on Senagalese websites & using Google's language tools I
translated the articles. If you have ever used an online translator
you will know how hard it is to make sense of the English translation
as it is all back to front - in English but still structured as French
would be. Anyway, the first one reports that Camara has been sent back
to Wolves because Celtic are so disappointed with his performance so far.
The other is a bit kinder but still focuses on Camara's shortcomings.

So Senegal has the eqivilent of TDR - and the journalists have the same
attitude towards the truth; don't let it get in the way of a crowd pleaser.

This just in: In a pole conducted by the IC Newcastle website to choose Bobby
Robson's replacement, Martin O'Neill was the preferred choice of 56.56% of
the voters. Steve Bruce & Gordon Strachan were joint second at 7.93%!!

Dream on Bonny Lads...